Releasing my grip on things

Sometimes I think I just hold on too tightly.  When work is slow or loved one's aren't themselves it's in my nature (probably everyone's) to pull those things tighter to me as if that might impart more control over the situation.  You would think by now I would have learned that it's exactly the opposite of what I should be doing but my monkey is a strong little devil and he has a very short memory!  I just returned from a fabulous 10 day vacation (man I love road trips!) and I practiced letting go.  I took audio gear but did no audio, I purposely avoided places where I could access the internet; I did have my phone but I used it sparingly.  The other thing I tried was a new (old) hobby, I took a very nice camera with me and concentrated on taking pictures.  Lots of pictures.  So you know what happened while I was gone?  I took good pictures and my work world did not end.  I believe that if you ask for what you need and get out of the way good things will happen, call it karma/god/the universe/the great spaghetti monster...point is you have to get out of your own way.  Or at least I have to get out of my own way.

I feel the monkeymind spinning out of control lately; work, personal errands, don't forget this and remember to do that.  I know my mind is moving waaay too fast when I start running words together while I'm typing.  (and on the subject of typing, does anyone else dyslexically swap k for d or i for e when typing fast?)  Not to mention when I wander off the topic with parenthetical sentences!  Luckily (but with a small amount of trepidation) we're off to Big Bend National Park in the great state of Texas to meet my folks and my sister and brother in law for a few days of hiking and checking out somewhere I've never been.  Really looking forward to the road trip thru Arizona, New Mexico and West Texas and I'll be borrowing a nice Canon still setup from my friend Scott that, I'm hoping, will rekindle my love of taking pictures (a hobby I haven't messed with since digital took over).  I'll also be carrying a nice field recording rig (zeppelin, Sennheiser MKH8040, Sound Devices MixPre, Olympus LS10) and am planning on grabbing a bunch of sfx on the trip.  So here's hoping for a nice, relaxing trip and a return to a couple of new games to work on!

Teaching an old dog new tricks

I'm counting down to the start of my 45th year or, as the Spanish would say, my cumpleanos or completion of another year.  I've always preferred that, celebrating the culmination of another year on the planet as opposed to celebrating the start of another year, just seems better.  Anyhow, while cleaning out my computer in order to upgrade it I stumbled across an old "to do" list and marveled at the fact that, while I had started some of the learning projects on the list, I never followed through all the way.  So I decided that it was time to conquer this aspect of my wandering mind and learn something new from start to finish.  To that end I have been spending most evenings after I've read Declan his stories studying the finer points of how to work a spreadsheet, implement audio into a video game or create and manage a database.  No, nothing exciting like learning a foreign language (although a spreadsheet IS a foreign language) but I've been doing this for a month now and I'm starting to see positive, concrete results.  Wow.  Gee.  Just imagine where I'd be if I had done this back when I created that original "to do" list.

Work work work

It's interesting how life goes through these peaks and valleys, one minute you're busy the next you're not. There's not enough work or there's too much work. Friends, social commitments, work, play; as we age and mature, at what point do we stop grasping desperately for whatever is just out of our reach and learn to just enjoy the ride? Speaking for myself, I have reached the point where I can recognize my disfunction, how much longer until I can put it into the lessons learned pile and move on?

So...

Random things that bug the shit out of me:
Why does anyone give a rats ass what a celebrity does?
Why do so many people think they are the center of the universe?
What makes these mother's taking their children to Las Vegas Day School think it's okay to drive 40+ mph down my street, the speed limit is 25?! How about I come to your neighborhood and drive 45 down your street?
Will common courtesy ever come back in style?
What's up with the fake hugs? Is it so wrong to want some personal space if I don't know you?
And what's up with caring so much about what some celebrity does? (sorry, I can't get past that one)

I realize these things that bug me are all really manifestations of my own ego that I project on people but it still feels good to put it out there. If we put it out there are we adding negativity to the universe or does it help release the negativity that builds up when we hold it in? If I can come up with the answer to that question I can probably find some freakin' enlightenment.

My dog doesn't care

So why should I? Actually, both of my dogs do care, quite a bit. One of them tends to be quite the worrier which sort of dismisses the idea that a dog's life is all cookies and fun. He is quite the tragic figure most times; never really able to recover from a crappy first year and a half before we stumbled into his life and spoiled him rotten. It's been almost 10 years but he still frets over the small stuff. Lately his worries stem from a little boy who has just entered our lives, he wants to know why it cries and why his people spend so much time working over the little being. I think he especially wants to know why exactly the schedule has been thrown for such a loop; in his life there are times we go to bed and times we get up and those are out the window now as they are when any baby is brought home. In spite of that though he is quite gentle with the baby boy and always lets us know when the little being cries. Shouldn't be too much longer and we'll get the dogs out for their walks and get a tighter schedule that they can relate too and they'll settle in with the new roommate. (so says the brand new parent!)